Shark Snark

The puns that are dropping online to accompany the social media splash caused by the new Netflix horror film “Under Paris” are clever, and maybe one of the best things about the amateur review space that is YouTube, Facebook, and other assorted sites of rapid-fire response.

My favorites for this action film about man-eating sharks snacking on marathon swimmers in the Seine River include:

“This film is in-Seine,” “Talk about the Chomps-Élysées!” and “Le Fins.” Mind you, the film has only just dropped, so we have more time to chum the waters with bloody bad puns.

None of this low-hanging fruit in any way serves as bait for you if you are hoping to hook a review that will help you decide whether or not to watch this French-language shark film.

Having said that, “Under Paris” seems to have made something of a splash with an awful lot of social media users. It might just be that there is so little to talk about in the genre. And of course, now that Summertime is almost upon us, it is open season for shark snark cinema.

Sadly, I'm going to contribute nothing to the discussion except to say the opening (pre-titles) scene is visually effective. This is the first shark attack, and it takes place beneath the “Great Pacific Garbage Patch” where ocean-dumped plastic trash goes to die. Or never die.

I couldn't conceive of a more unappealing setting for the inevitable slaughter that you know is going to happen when a freakishly large shark shows up for the feeding frenzy that follows the death of a baby whale — with its mouth full of plastics — that has been caught in a net beneath all the human trash.

The most horrific-yet-stunning moment of this opening scene is when one of the super-shark’s victims rises gasping from the water, a stark blue sky highlighting the reflective glow of all that unrecycled trash.

Unfortunately, that's also the film's high point as a work of horror. What follows is plenty of clichéd tropes, including the foolish activist, the stubborn police team, and the arrogant but incredibly deaf politician who puts personal pride before public safety.

The denouement is also pretty entertaining, but mostly because it goes in a direction that is pretty unexpected. Unfortunately, it is also low-hanging fruit insofar as it panders to the zeitgeist, calling forth a final image that viewers will automatically associate with our fears about our ongoing environmental meltdown.

Indeed, today’s news broadcasts are reminding us of that all the official governmental attempts at reducing the levels of carbon dioxide being spewed into our atmosphere are failing miserably. The tons of earth-warming carbon dioxide in our planetary atmosphere is at all new highs. The United States is already experiencing extreme temperatures, and technically the astronomical start of summer is still over two weeks away.

India is having it much worse, with temperatures in parts of Delhi reaching almost 53 Degrees Celsius (that’s an astonishing 127 Degrees Fahrenheit) a few days ago. (CNN)

Worldwide we can all expect extreme storms as typhoons, hurricanes, and cyclones take on new orders of violence. And have we all already forgotten the annual forest fires that have become almost everyday news events? Tragically there are fires happening in continents worldwide that we in the “industrialized” (I hate to say “developed”) world are not likely to hear about given the parochial tendencies of our news outlets and our societies.

Given this real-world unfolding of crisis, it feels a little exploitative of this newest shark flick to cull from our (unspoken) terrors with a  image of Paris flooded and finned just so viewers can leave a “thumbs up” at the Netflix app when the credits start to roll. Even so, it’s a moment that is awash with surprise, and that alone makes it worth waiting for.

Articles Referenced

"There is More Carbon Dioxide than Ever in the Atmosphere." NPR News. 7 June 2024.
https://www.npr.org/2024/06/06/nx-s1-4992290/carbon-dioxide-record-high-atmosphere

“India’s Scorching Heat and Lack of Water Leave Delhi’s Poor to Suffer Worst of Climate Crisis.” By Esha Mitra. CNN Website. Online.
https://edition.cnn.com/2024/06/01/india/india-scorching-heat-climate-crisis-intl-hnk/index.html